Story Time With Daddy or Its a Long Car Ride Home

On the way home from a wedding in Mt. Vernon last night I decided to make it my mission to keep The 'Dozer awake so that there was no powernap recharge for her special brand of lunacy.

I did this in the normal ways one torments a child:

Tickling.
Taking Away Her Blanket.
Fish-hooking.
Giving Her the Mandible Claw ala Mick Foley.

Typical things a father does to a two-year old.

Then it dawned on me that I could just tell her some stories to keep her captivated.  Brilliant.

Now, being two she doesn't have the wide range for story preference that her parents do so I had little to pick from. Luckily enough we read her the same bloody story every night so it's almost committed to memory.

The Story?

"The Rainbow Fish" by Marcus Pfister

http://www.amazon.com/Rainbow-Fish-Marcus-Pfister/dp/1558580093

(There be a link if y'all be interested.)

So, here is my abbreviated version of said story with no sleight intended to Author or Production House/Distributor:

So ok, there was this fish in the ocean and he was really pretty, like super pretty.  He was all rainbow colored and had him some silver scales.  Everyone was so Jelly of him.  So Jelly you could spread them on Toast even.  They called him The Rainbow Fish.

One day he was swimming around the Ocean doin' his Rainbow Fish thing and this little Blue Fish swam up to him.  He was all like "Hey Man, Can I get me one of them Silver Scales You Got There?  Like a Real Small one Even?" and the Rainbow Fish was all like "Naw."  The Little Blue Dude was all like "That's Cold, Bro" and swam off.

Now, he must have told all the other fish about this cause no one wanted nothing to do with the Rainbow Fish no more and he was Mad Upset.

He was so upset that he went to the Starfish, which no one does 'cause what good is a Starfish right?

Anyway, he told the Starfish what was up and the Starfish told him to go see the Wise Old Octopus down the way in a Cave.  The Starfish pushed it off on someone else.  "What a surprise" the Rainbow Fish muttered under his breath as he swam on to the Octopus cave.

"Woah there Rainbow" said a Deep Voice.  It was the Octopus.  "You look like you got Ten Tons of Trouble in a Five Ton Box.  What's up?"

The Rainbow fish took that ugly bag of snakes and laid 'em out straight for her.

"Well, what you gotta do is give away your scales.  That way you see that sharing is caring and it will make you feel better" sayeth the Octopus.

"Uhm...no?  How Could that possibly..." Rainbow began to spout but the Octopus was gone, disappearing into a cloud of ink.

Just then that little Blue Dude popped back up and was all "Hey Ninja, can I get one of them scales now?"

The RBF thought about it for a minute and then plucked out a little silver scale and gave it to him.

"Thanks bro!" said the little blue dude and off he went.

The RBF turned around to head back home, silently pondering how that little Bugger knew where he was which turned into the beginning of a conspiracy theory.  Thankfully his train was derailed by all the other fish in the Bloody ocean.  That little Blue jerk told everyone that The RBF was givin' away scales like tube socks at a Swap Meet.

So, as they surrounded him he began to pull out his scales and hand them to the other fish, just like the Wise Old Octopus had told him to do.

When all was said and done he looked out into the ocean and saw all the shining silver darting around and yea, he did feel better.  He gave all his special scales away save one. 

"I guess its good to share" he said to himself.

"Hey Rainbow!" said some Green and Yellow fish, "Get on over here and play with us!"

And away he went, as fast as a splash.

The End.


Now, Danielle tells me that I get all street when I tell stories and I guess that's true.  It's just my nature I suppose.  I also told her an abbreviated version of "The Paper Bag Princess" as well and I will post that if anyone wants to read it.

Link for that  is here:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_ss_i_0_9?url=search-alias%3Dstripbooks&field-keywords=the+paper+bag+princess&sprefix=the+paper